SHARK IS PART OF A NOBLE SPECIES of undersea creatures known as the eating, or killing, machines. Time has had little need to change the ancient design of sharks, as if they are immune to evolutionary change itself by virtue of their giant rows of flesh ripping teeth. This shark, however, has made many remarkable changes from his species. He is an enigmatic, bipolar creature; he has the deadly teeth, but he's sadly too insecure to be any kind of killing machine, rendering Shark absolutely harmless. Also, he has a large butt. He will instinctively swallow the occasional hubcap or violently gnaw at a license plate, but that's about the extant of his ferocity. Shark's biggest concern is to talk about his horny girlfriend. The chatter is almost constant, whether on the phone or at lunch with colleagues, and Shark mixes his conversation with a dumb compulsive laugh. His cell phone seems to be his best friend.

SHARK WORKS AT ACA making cold calls for potential business deals. Most employees know that Shark actually spends almost all his time rattling on to his horny girlfriend and laughing away like a mental patient. He has a poster of Farah Fawcett in his space (it's the classic one from the 70's). She's possibly on the beach, which brings back memories of home to Shark. The poster is signed: "Love, your horny girlfriend." He likes to insinuate that Farah is his horny girlfriend. The signature has a suspicious, smeared wet look to it, however, and looks as though an ogling sea creature may have scrawled it out.