JIMMY IS A FORTY-FIVE YEAR OLD underappreciated, overworked, underpaid fat man. He has been doing mindless tasks in the same small cubicle for fifteen years. Though he has a master's degree and has been working for ACA for almost twenty years, Winston treats Jimmy like the office's oldest intern. Jimmy knows that Winston is just an overblown salesman, but he puts up with the degradation so he can pay rent and buy cheap shampoo to wash his dishes. Winston once told Jimmy in his most patronizing father-knows-best voice, "You know Jimmy, when I was your age I nearly ate and drank myself to death." Jimmy's corporate problems are second only in quantity to his consumption of Sissy Ale™.
TO DEAL WITH THE HIGH STRESS pressures involved with working at a place like ACA, Jimmy often keeps a six pack of Sissy Ale™ at work so he can decompress. Often, he decompresses on Wednesdays, so he won't be too hung over for the weekly Friday night happy hour at O's.
BORN: 1957 as James Karen Staycox on a farm thirty-seven miles south of Snedmore, TX. Though now in his mid forties, Jimmy claims that he maintains a "somewhat youthful glow" through intense daily workouts involving sexual self-gratification.
PETS: Billhilly, his cat (named after the lead singer of Body Holy), Spit, his dog, Peppy the goat and Candy the rabbit (both only memories now)
AUTOMOBILE: 1983 Rexaco Turbo Spirit (complete with a window A/C unit made for a house in the passenger seat window. Jimmy claims he couldn't afford to get the car A/C fixed (on an ACA salary he really couldn't).
MARITAL STATUS: Married at twenty-one and divorced at twenty-two. Jimmy hasn't had a date in ten years, but he's secretly in love with Mona Imunna, a fellow worker at ACA.
